The Middle

So, to finish off my Sunday night posting frenzy, here's a little education for everyone. I got to thinking tonight, "How in the world does a torque wrench work?".

My first thought, of course, was "little magical gnomes live in the wrench head, measuring torque by how many of their gnome brethren have been sucked into the bearings in the wrench (this would also explain why the wrenches wear out. I don't know that they do ever 'wear out', but I'd like to think they would with this model of operation). When the proper torque is achieved, they invoke a mystical spirit to make the wrench handle slip in the hands of the giant creature (read: you) doing the torquing."

Nope, that wasn't it.

At least that's what I like to think. I figure it's common knowledge by know, but if you didn't know, I broke my ankle a few weeks back. The response of the highly respected medical community? "Yeah, that looks bad. Put this giant thing on your ankle and don't move it for awhile." Brilliant, no? Anyway, this post was intended to bitch about one particular peddler of the farce that is modern medicine, Orthopedics and Sports Medicine of Raleigh, NC. After their astounding advice a few weeks ago, I had a follow-up "appointment" this past Firday at 2:00. I say "appointment", because when I returned from lunch Friday afternoon, I had a voicemal message. Who was it? None other than the lovely receptionist from the aforementioned clinic, informing me that they had decided not to work on Friday afternoon, and would like me to reschedule my appointment for some later date that wouldn't conflict with the fancy doctor-man's 3-day weekend at the lake house plans. Man, that really chaps my ass...

On a brighter note, I've decided (solely on the basis of my own medical expertise, of course) that my spaceboot is no longer required. I walked without it all day today, and other than my calf absolutely burning, I was just fine. I'll probably go back to it tomorrow when I have to go to work, and at the very least when I finally do go back to the doctor's office, whenever those punks can squeeze me in, but I now feel much more liberated.

So, as I previously mentioned, I was planning to replace a leaky fork seal on my bike this weekend. Armed with both my Clymer's and this guy, I figured I couldn't fail. Unfortunately, I did. Brake calipers came off without a hitch. I got the wheel off just fine. I let the air out of the forks and drained the fork oil, and finally pulled them from the bike. Got the dust seals and various bits above the oil seal off, but couldn't get the fork slider out of the lower casing to save my life. Conventional wisdom says these should come off without much trouble, but that wasn't the case for me. After that abyssmal failure, I was reduced to washing and vacuuming my car all day today. No more "dude stuff" until next weekend, we'll see how that goes.

No, it's not what you're thinking, it's the current line of new shows on the network that entertains your brain. I've become a complete glutton for Monster Garage, American Chopper, and now Monster House over the last few weeks. How good are they you ask? Well, good enough that I ran out of work when I realized it was 9:45PM and I only had 15 minutes until a new episode of American Chopper was on. I had a discussion about these very shows today at work, which is what prompted the post, although I suppose my recent activities may also tie into my newfound appreciation of dudes doing "dude stuff" on TV, but nonetheless the shows are wildly entertaining. I highly recommend you check out any or all of them, they're quite impressive. And based on the rerun count, apparently they're doing well in the ratings, too. Throw in some "Extreme Engineering", "Walking with Cavemen", and the fact that Discovery's the channel just below the SportsCenter channel, and I'm convinced that "two channels ought to be enough for anybody".

Being all gimped up doesn't offer many benefits, but one would have to be lots of time to work on my new toy. So, when asked "What did you do all weekend?", I can now calmy and cooly reply "Oh, I worked on my bike", and shrug my shoulders like Fonzie. A nice, relaxing Saturday afternoon of working in the garage and getting all greasy. Nothing major this weekend, mostly just an ignition replacement. The one that was in the bike could be started with a screwdriver or any other thin flat object, and looked like it'd been jacked into in a serious way at some point in the past. With $10 and a little ebay searching, a nice new one that actually requires a key was mine. I had to dismantle a good deal of the electronics up front to get at the thing, but hey, it's a learning experience. Better yet, the old baby fired to life on the first try once I had pieced everything back together. Not bad for my first time pulling it apart, especially since I had only my innate electronic know-how and no Clymer's at my side, but that's in the mail, and should arrive sometime this week. That'll give me all the motivation I need to tackle that leaky fork seal this weekend as my next project. That one should prove much more challenging, seeing as how I desparately lack any "innate mechanical know-how".

Today I've officially worked for The Man for one year. Scary.

At IBM, there is an interesting phenomenon know affectionately as WAH, or Working At Home. WAH is most often employed by those grisled old programmers who have to take their kids to the doctor's office, or sit at home and wait for the cable guy. Basically, you connect into the intranet via some firewall software and sit on the internal IM while watching the same SportsCenter on ESPN all day, or at least that's how I saw it. Unitl now, at least. Recently, I've taken advantage of this practice based on my shiny new spaceboot. Remarkably, this has worked out fabulously for me. I sat at home all day Monday and Wednesday, and it was like I was swimming in The Zone. Drowning in it. Enveloped by it. Yesterday alone I spent almost sixteen straight hours in The Zone. It was unreal. I haven't zoned for that long in years. It was quite draining, actaully. It would seem that not being barraged with meetings and inane questions all day is quite good for my productivity. This WAH thing is great, I'm going to have to talk to The Bossman about doing this on a regular basis. Considering I accomplished more Monday and Wednesday than I did in May, I think he'll buy it.

I did a lot of dumb things in college. This would certainly qualify as one of them.